“Love is still the boss of us.”
Some mornings I wake up to a reality check, gratitude, or exhaustion but on this particular morning, I woke up in scrutiny. I’ve been feeling more critical towards my body lately and with the ups and downs of the weather lately, I’ve just been tired. My energy levels have been at an all time low and I just haven’t felt like the best version of myself, despite the fact that I’m continuing to do all the things to work on my mental and physical health.
And after my yoga and pilates routine, I took a shower, brewed some coffee, journaled and checked the news which is when I saw headlines and stories about the Manchester bombing. Every part of me is heartbroken, shaken, and disoriented. This realisation that I woke up criticising myself for trivial problems, meanwhile there are people in this world who are really suffering. There are missing children, broken bodies, family losses. There are girls who aren’t allowed to get an education. There are people who are merely surviving day to day. And here I am, complaining about this?
This isn’t going to be one of my lengthy blog posts, but instead, I wanted to write this as a reminder to myself and anyone else who feels this great dissonance in moments like these. I think the hardest thing is to feel helpless in the face of tragedy, but what we can do is send love and feel gratitude. Feel grateful that you were given a healthy, fully functioning body that lets you walk and breathe and read and write and move. Feel grateful that you get to have choices. Feel grateful for our health and our family and our friends. In moments like these, when we feel helpless and at a loss with ourselves; When we feel so disconnected with what we’ve been worrying about on a day to day basis, we can choose to feel grateful instead.
I’m sending all my love and prayers to those who are suffering in the world and those who have been affected by the tragedy in Manchester. I wish I was able to do more or say more or something. But you’re in my thoughts and in my heart.